Boo!

The pugs got a huge break this year from being dressed up in ridiculous (but oh-so-hilarious) costumes.  Instead, Ella got all the attention for her first Halloween.  We decided to dress her up as a cupcake because of her nickname ("Babycakes"), and because we could work with her Bumbo seat so she could actually sit unassisted in the pictures.  So with a little fleece, some embellishments and a hot glue gun, we baked ourselves the cutest cupcake we've ever seen!

Happy Halloween!

goodbye, house!

We closed escrow today on the condo I used to live in when I moved back to LA from San Francisco.  It was Adam and my first home together and saw its share of many special memories for us.  But we are definitely glad to close that chapter in our life, as the one we're living right now is pretty fantastic.  Goodbye, house!

We're All Smiles

trick or TREAT

Every year we make treat bags filled with candy and goodies to give to the neighborhood kids for Halloween.  Ella tried to lend a helping hand.  And by "lend a helping hand" I mean, "tried to eat the bag."

The Baptism Tea

No tea is complete without little sandwiches.

Sweets for a sweet day! 

Manly men with frilly fans.

Ella's two favorite baby stealers.

With her Nino.  Ella was trying to sing herself to sleep. 

With her pen pal, Riyo, and Auntie Melissa. 

I remembered a mother-daughter shot right before we finished up.

With her Auntie Ashley.

Best. Day. Ever!

The Baptism

Waiting for the baptism to begin.

Anointing of the chest with oil.

Baptism by water.

In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

Cleansed.

Cheers!

Grandpa "high-five" for baptismal success!

Anointing of the head with oil.

Blessing of the parents.

Ella felt so at peace, she fell asleep.

Proud family.

Sleeping in arms of love.

With her godfather, who really is family now.

A Child of God

Ella was baptized yesterday surrounded by her family and friends.  It was very important to us for Ella to become part of a community of faith, prayer, and love.  The blessings were bountiful yesterday as we got to share the day with our favorite people.  Ella did amazingly for her first event as the guest of honor.  She was more than happy to be held by everyone and enjoyed being a part of the celebration. 

It was a really moving day for Adam and me.  Everyday we look at our baby girl and are in awe of God's beautiful creation.  I'm sure every parent feels this way about their child--how perfect she is.  She is pure goodness and love right now.  She inspires us to be better people, reminds us of the important things in life, and challenges us to live as testaments of God's message.  Since conception, her existence has been in our frame of reference.  She is our daughter, our baby, our little miracle.  But yesterday we saw her as her own person.  We are a part of her world.  She has her own journey ahead of her, her own personal relationship with Jesus, and her own path to follow.  It is our privilege to be a part of her world.  

I don't know how people can have children and not believe in God.  How these little people are created so perfectly.  Just the fact that they can look into your face and smile is a miracle.  I honestly believe that God's grace flows through every little child.  That in a world so filled with darkness and ugliness, we get a glimpse of light and beauty as a result of unconditional love.    

Ella has started to "hug" me back when I hold her.  She wraps her little arm around my neck and hangs on.  It's the sweetest little gesture, and my daily reminder that we are all loved.  We simply need to embrace the little things around us to feel the warmth.

Thank you at everyone who came to support Ella's special day.  We hope all of you will continue to play an important role in her life.

Today

Today was one of those days that I just loved being a mom.

This morning I looked over at Ella napping in her Rock 'n Play and saw her little feet poking out.   My little baby is growing so fast!

Our late morning playtime usually consists of kicking and squirming on the floor.
And taking a picture (like this one) and sending it to the grandparents.

After a trip to the craft store and an outfit change, we had lunch together.
Ella was eyeing my soda, which means no more sugary drinks for me!

It's laundry day and everyone wanted to lend a hand.

There Were 5 in a Bed...

... and the little one said, "Roll over!"

We've seen it coming for some days now.  But today she made it all the way and all on her own.  She rolled over.  But instead of rolling from her front to her back (which is easier and usually learned first), she rolled from her back to her front.  Ella has always liked sleeping on her side, and we've even termed her sleeping position "shrimping."  (For some reason, I think she looks like a giant shrimp.  Maybe it's the large head to body proportions.)  She figured out how to swing her top leg over while laying on her side and push herself up onto her elbows and forearms.  It takes a lot of grunting and whining and frustrated quips, but she gets there.  She did it a couple times yesterday with some assistance from me, but today, while she was supposed to be napping in her crib, she did it all on her own.  In her crib.  While I watched on the monitor, excited and horrified.  Excited because it's such a great feat for such a small little body.  Horrified because she hasn't learned to flip from her front to her back yet, and the idea of her rolling onto her tummy in the middle of the night and getting stuck makes me super nervous.  So of course, I take a picture before running upstairs to get her.

Instead of falling asleep, she chose to exercise instead.

That's my little Babycakes.  She has an agenda of her own.  Now that she's rolling over, I'm assuming the crankiness and clinginess we've been experiencing with her the past few days was because of her developmental leap.  Learning a new ability is exhausting work and she needed the extra comfort.

Tonight, after her bath, while I was trying to get her pajamas on, she rolled over again.  And again.  And again.  Adam got to witness it for the first time, and we just kept cheering her on as she kept flipping herself over on our bed.  It was hard not to help her when she was trying to get her bottom arm out from under her, but we knew she needed to work through the frustration and do it on her own.  And we couldn't be more proud!  (That being said, we'll be watching the baby monitor extra close tonight.)

To Work or Not to Work

Here's my vent.

I am forcing myself to finish my online program to get my second bachelor's in speech and language pathology.  Initially, I was really looking forward to pursuing a career in communication disorders and being able to work in a variety of settings with small children.  It seemed like the perfect offshoot of being an elementary school teacher.  I still occasionally miss the classroom (the teaching part, not the behavioral management part), and being a SLP would allow me to work with kids again.  But now that Ella is here my motivation is completed tapped out.  I can't seem to concentrate on my school work, and all I really want to do is spend my day with my daughter.  A (very large) part of me just wants to be a stay-at-home mom instead of pursuing a career.  I'm torn because I don't want to regret not having a career years down the road (say, when all our kids are in school).  At the same time, I love being a mom to Ella and don't want to compromise that by working.  I know plenty of moms who work and those who stay at home, and both jobs are challenging and admirable.  I respect both camps so much.  They both have pros and cons to them.  I guess I just don't know what's right for me.

I confess that deep down there's a little voice in me that says I need to work in order to have an identity other than being a mom.  Don't get me wrong.  I think being a mom is the toughest job out there.  It's demanding 24/7 and you don't get vacations days.  I just struggle with the social pressure to be defined by what you do.  And I feel like nowadays you have to have a profession while you're still relatively young because the job market is so competitive.

Once I get my degree, I still have to commit to two years for a master's program before I can actually be a SLP.  That's daunting to me, especially since we plan to have more children.  I've considered getting my master's in library science to be a children's librarian (which is a much easier, shorter program), but there really are no jobs out there.  So I'm torn.  Adam jokes that I collect degrees as a profession.  Which, yeah, kinda true.  But is that because I'm unable to commit to a career?  Or is that because the career I truly belong in is being a mom?  At thirty years old, am I okay with saying that I'm a mom?  Or will I feel unfulfilled (for whatever reason, legitimate or not) because I can't just hand over a business card when people ask what I do?  Maybe I should just make a business card for myself:

Yassie T. Holliday, M.O.M.

Mommyhood Specialist

Holliday Household Corp.

Specializing in tummy time, read-a-louds, and pug wrangling.

But It's Not Morning Yet!

Ella is usually a great nighttime sleeper.  (Napping?  Not so much.)  But we've found that after every round of vaccinations, she has a week of interrupted sleep.  These past three nights she's been waking at around 3 am.  I guess I've been pretty spoiled having her sleep through the night so early, but it's been rough having to wake up again.  I'm walking the tightrope between comforting her while she adjusts to whatever's happening in her little body and allowing her to learn to soothe herself back to sleep.  Usually she just rolls over, sucks her hand, and talks herself to sleep again.  But the past few nights she's been crying and wanting to nurse.  I'm really crossing my fingers that it's a result of her shots, because then I know she'll fall into her old routine again.  Usually her sleep gets disrupted a couple nights after her doctor's visit, but this time around, it didn't start until Saturday night (five nights later).   I've read about the four month wakeful period, which, if that's the case, I'm in for a rude awakening (pun totally intended).  I never realized how obsessed you get with sleep when you're a parent (your sleep and your child's sleep).  I'm constantly trying to figure out ways to get her to nap consistently and for longer stretches, and every night is a game of "When Can We Catch Ella at the Right Moment to Start Her Bedtime Routine."  Aaah, parenthood.

Pumpkins

It's an annual tradition for my family to go to the Fall Harvest Festival at Underwood Farms to pick pumpkins and kick off the holiday season.  Needless to say that I was super excited to bring Ella.  Though the 82 degree heat and sunny weather (gotta love California!) made the outing a little more exhausting, we all really enjoyed ourselves.  Ella really liked the horse-drawn wagon ride, slept through the pig races, and didn't understand why there were goats walking over her head.  With two grandmothers in tow, we enjoyed pumpkin pie, getting into the spirit of fall, and (of course) choosing our pumpkins to decorate our house with.

We always seem to go on tractor trailer weekend.

The beautiful clydesdales that pulled our wagon.

Ella on the wagon ride.  My mom says her hat makes her look like a Vietnamese soldier.
Totally the look we were going for.

Adam and his mom taking a tour of the farm.

My mom resting on some pumpkins.

On the way to the pig races!

Looking at animals.

See the goats?!

Apparently they were headed for a goat meet up.

We liked how stylish this scarecrow was.

On to the main event!

Look what I found! She was totally just sitting there.  Best. Pumpkin. Ever.

A very non-threatening scarecrow.

I think she was overwhelmed by the sea of orange.

Our loot.

Everybody needs a giant basket filled with gourds and squash in their home.
Bet you Martha Stewart has one.

Ready to head home.  We were all smiles and looking forward to a nice long nap on the drive home.

There were days when outings were simple with no strollers, hats, and diaper changes.
But despite the added effort, we like the extra baggage; she's pretty cute.