Tuesday, October 18, 2011

To Work or Not to Work

Here's my vent.

I am forcing myself to finish my online program to get my second bachelor's in speech and language pathology.  Initially, I was really looking forward to pursuing a career in communication disorders and being able to work in a variety of settings with small children.  It seemed like the perfect offshoot of being an elementary school teacher.  I still occasionally miss the classroom (the teaching part, not the behavioral management part), and being a SLP would allow me to work with kids again.  But now that Ella is here my motivation is completed tapped out.  I can't seem to concentrate on my school work, and all I really want to do is spend my day with my daughter.  A (very large) part of me just wants to be a stay-at-home mom instead of pursuing a career.  I'm torn because I don't want to regret not having a career years down the road (say, when all our kids are in school).  At the same time, I love being a mom to Ella and don't want to compromise that by working.  I know plenty of moms who work and those who stay at home, and both jobs are challenging and admirable.  I respect both camps so much.  They both have pros and cons to them.  I guess I just don't know what's right for me.

I confess that deep down there's a little voice in me that says I need to work in order to have an identity other than being a mom.  Don't get me wrong.  I think being a mom is the toughest job out there.  It's demanding 24/7 and you don't get vacations days.  I just struggle with the social pressure to be defined by what you do.  And I feel like nowadays you have to have a profession while you're still relatively young because the job market is so competitive.

Once I get my degree, I still have to commit to two years for a master's program before I can actually be a SLP.  That's daunting to me, especially since we plan to have more children.  I've considered getting my master's in library science to be a children's librarian (which is a much easier, shorter program), but there really are no jobs out there.  So I'm torn.  Adam jokes that I collect degrees as a profession.  Which, yeah, kinda true.  But is that because I'm unable to commit to a career?  Or is that because the career I truly belong in is being a mom?  At thirty years old, am I okay with saying that I'm a mom?  Or will I feel unfulfilled (for whatever reason, legitimate or not) because I can't just hand over a business card when people ask what I do?  Maybe I should just make a business card for myself:

Yassie T. Holliday, M.O.M.
Mommyhood Specialist
Holliday Household Corp.
Specializing in tummy time, read-a-louds, and pug wrangling.

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