And now, here I sit, with Ella napping beside me, the sounds of pug bone chewing in the background while sipping my cup of coffee, and I am overwhelmed. I am overwhelmed because new life breathes such hope and joy and inspiration. I've had a couple friends welcome new babies into their lives just in the past week, and reading about them makes my heart do flips. Just five short months ago, I felt the overwhelming emotion of holding a new person I knew so well, yet not at all, in my arms. Before that, I could never grasp what being a parent was like. You read all the books, practice the swaddling techniques, brace yourself for the sleepless nightsdaysweeks, but you never learn about the insurmountable joy of having your tiny child grasp your finger with her little hand. Or maybe I was told of how amazing parenthood is, but you never really believe it until you live it.
Ella has taught us how to live in the present. We rejoice over every single thing she learns and does. She lifted her head. Woot! She rolled over. Woot! She laughed so hard she started to hiccup. Woot! Woot! I look at her and it's love and gratitude and heart-melty-gooeyness. I think it's the beauty of newborn babies. They are perfect little reminders of having faith like a child, of how God looks at us with such joy and pride in His heart. I understand perfect love now. I understand unconditional love. I understand a little more of God's sacrifice for us. And I am moved and humbled and broken. All because this little person came into our life and showed us the divine in the most human way.
And for that, I am grateful.
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