It's Like Marbles Everywhere

Yesterday, Adam and I attended a maternity tour of the hospital we will be giving birth at.  I couldn't believe how many people were at this orientation.  Even though I'm pregnant myself, pregnant people make me nervous.  It's like a bunch of pods walking around.  Or marbles.  For some reason I think of a bunch of marbles just rolling around the floor when I see a lot of pregnant people in one space.  Sitting in the auditorium, waiting for the presentation to begin, Adam and I felt like we were in class all over again.  I even got a little nervous about not being prepared enough to attend the tour (where was my list of questions?).  Looking around I kept thinking how there are all these little lives just hanging out in these women's bellies.  It was a little difficult for me to wrap my head around.

The tour was very informative and helpful, and I'm glad we did it.  As we were guided through the different sections of the maternity ward, Adam and I kept joking how we need to run drills so we knew exactly what to do when the time comes to deliver.  I could just see us in matching warm ups, jetting down the hall, him throwing bags and forms at the receptionist, me hunting down a wheel chair, as if we were on the last leg of The Amazing Race.

Emotionally, I've been feeling a lot better.  A weekend with the husband tends to assuage all the negativity and fear that I feel when I'm left alone to think too much.  I did have a mini panic attack last night, though, about raising a girl.  I'm reading Cinderella Ate My Daughter: Dispatches from the Front Lines of the New Girlie-Girl Culture by Peggy Orenstein.  It's an interesting read about how (or if) we are doing our daughters a disservice by perpetuating the "princess" mentality by buying into the consumerism that seeks to objectify and sexualize girls into thinking that looks are more important than character.  I got to the part about social networking and how it is yet another vehicle for children to promote themselves on a superficial level rather than encourage children to develop meaningful relationships and establish their own identity outside of tweets, status updates, and wall posts.  It's a lot to think about as society seems to become more and more desensitized and children are getting older younger.  It's scary to think what this world will be like when our daughter(s) approach that age.  I'm prepared to have a baby, but not a teenager (or tween) quite yet.  The book does make me reevaluate my approach to teaching my daughter about her femininity and identity as a girl.  I want to empower without stifling her with my own agenda.  I mean, who wants their daughter to struggle with identity issues and poor body image and all that goes with being female and an adolescence?  I don't think there is anything inherently wrong with pink and princesses and girlie things.  I just want my daughter to have an identity outside of the societal constraints placed on her simply because she is female.  But then again, I'd buy a pink power drill!  And here I am blogging and using Facebook.  What does that say about me?  I do recommend the book, though.  Not to be read as gospel or anything, but just something to think about.  I can go on and on about this subject, but I'll save that for another day.