A Birthing Story

It's hard to believe that she's here after all this anticipation!

Last Thursday, June 9th, Adam and I went to my routine OB appointment for our usual NST session.  We found out that I was having (mild) contractions every 20 minutes or so during the fetal monitoring.  Our doctor felt that I would probably deliver the upcoming weekend.  We were excited, though the reality didn't really sink in.  I just felt like I was going to be pregnant forever, rocking the bump til I was old and gray.

Thursday night we went to bed at around 10 pm since Adam had an early morning the next day.  I joked that perhaps he wouldn't make it into his 5 am work day if I went into labor.  At around 12:30 am I woke up with some intense contractions.  I knew it the moment I felt it that this was the beginning of labor.  How long the process would be, I wasn't certain.  I tried to sleep it off (knowing I needed all the rest I could get), but it got intense enough for me to whimper and writhe around in bed, waking Adam up.  We decided to see if I would be getting the contractions regularly before jumping to any conclusions about our baby's delivery.  Then, about 10 minutes later I had another contraction.  Then another 7 minutes later, I had another one.  Followed by another one 12 minutes later.  We called our doula. Juli, just to give her a head's up, and she suggested we try to sleep or for me to take a bath, since this pattern could continue for a while and I was still only in early labor.  Then they came more frequently; as we timed my contractions we realized they were coming in 4-6 minute intervals.  I didn't expect to starting getting them so close together so soon.  So we called Juli back (who said she actually couldn't go back to sleep either because she sensed she'd be needed sooner than later), and as we waited for her to come over, I did what every laboring woman does: throw on comfy clothes, finish packing the hospital bags, pay bills, and straighten my hair.

I have to be honest the contractions took me by surprise and I didn't really know how to deal with them.  Adam and I looked at each other and just knew this was going to be a tough road.  Maybe I wasn't as strong as I thought I'd be.  But the minute Juli arrived and placed her hands on my hips to ease the pain, we felt a lot more confident that we were going to do this.  We labored at home for about 11 hours.  Adam made us breakfast (oatmeal and cappuccinos, of course!) and switched off with Juli to help me through each contraction.  By 11:30 the contractions were getting stronger and we felt like I was dilated enough to head to the hospital.  Adam called the doctor and we headed out.

My calm and empowering labor at home was definitely interrupted by the hospital's many formal procedures.  Getting constantly poked, prodded and hooked up (four tries and an anesthesiologist later for the IV) made bearing through the contractions pretty challenging.  But Juli and Adam were amazing coaches and we persevered for another few hours.  By 3 pm, my OB broke my bags of water, intensifying the contractions.  I have to say, the next two hours were by far the most challenged.  At 6 cm dilated, I was about to go into transition and I was exhausted and scared that I wouldn't be able to actually push the baby out.  Through tears and feelings of defeat, I asked for the epidural.  When the pain medication set in, we were all given a brief reprieve and some rest.  My progress stalled and pitocin was administered to keep things going.  Transition hit and by 11:30 I was ready to push.  Adam made the comment that perhaps our baby would make her arrival on the 10th after all.  Juli and the L&D nurse both looked at him incredulously since first time moms usually push for at least 1-2 hours.  So I braced myself for the long haul, and started the pushing process.  Twenty-one minutes later at 11:51 pm, Ella Seraphina Holliday was born.  We were all amazed, overwhelmed and completely overcome by the experience.  She was placed on my chest, lifted her head and said hello to her new mommy and daddy.  And my heart was now eternally outside my body.

Adam and I are so completely overjoyed to welcome our little girl into this world.  After everything our family has been through we definitely welcome the celebration of a new life.  The day Ella was born was the day we fell in love with our daughter and even more with each other.  Thanks for sharing in our journey!  We look forward to what parenting holds for us.

Counting Down

There hasn't been too much to blog about lately, mostly because we've been starting the waiting game and counting down to baby's arrival.  We're still getting last minute things together (packing hospital bags, filling out forms, finishing up the nursery) and just staying vigilant for labor signs.  I know I still have a little over three weeks until my due date, but it just feels like it will happen so soon.  My weeks consist of doctors' visits and finding the energy to do little things around the house.  We're excited and anxious and can't believe that we'll be meeting our little girl soon!

I get fetal monitoring twice a week.

Love the sound of the baby's heartbeat.  And it's fun to hear her move around.

All the Pregnant Ladies...

We attended an all-day child birthing class on Saturday and were pleasantly surprised by how informative it was.  We definitely feel more prepared for the "Big Event" and I am more confident in being able to have our baby naturally and unmedicated.  I know that ultimately the baby will come the way she wants to come and I have very little control over the entire thing.  Obviously our highest priority is her health and safe delivery, but I do feel very strongly about laboring and delivering as God created our bodies to do.  (But then again, ask me when I'm in the middle of a contraction 20+ hours into labor and barely progressing and I may say God blessed us with scientific progress for a reason!)

The class was taught through the hospital we are giving birth at, and we really enjoyed the instructor who is a lactation consultant and doula.  There were about 20 couples, which means my anxiousness about being around so many pregnant bellies resurfaced the minute we walked into the room.  Still, it was a worthwhile experience and some highlights from the (long) day were:

• Not feeling like a giant balloon compared to the other women.  I know it's bad to compare because every woman's pregnancy is different, but I've been feeling like a giant jelly bean lately, and it was comforting to know that I'm not THAT big (yet).
• The instructor's excellent analogy of how the cervix grows--from the size of a cheerio to a Ritz bit, to a Ritz cracker, to a rice cake--even if we can no longer eat those snack foods again.
• The men learning how to properly massage a woman in labor.  (And warnings to them to not just ask "How are you doing?" while trying to help the woman through the pain.)
• Adam breathing like Mia (the pug) when instructed to practice groaning as a method for dealing with contraction pain.
• Adam quietly singing "All the pregnant ladies, all the pregnant ladies, put your bumps up!" to the tune of "Single Ladies" while we were doing different exercises.

Adam in Waiting

We got to the Maternity Orientation Tour early so I took the opportunity to snap pictures of Adam in all his excitement and anticipation of being around a bunch of preggos!

It's Like Marbles Everywhere

Yesterday, Adam and I attended a maternity tour of the hospital we will be giving birth at.  I couldn't believe how many people were at this orientation.  Even though I'm pregnant myself, pregnant people make me nervous.  It's like a bunch of pods walking around.  Or marbles.  For some reason I think of a bunch of marbles just rolling around the floor when I see a lot of pregnant people in one space.  Sitting in the auditorium, waiting for the presentation to begin, Adam and I felt like we were in class all over again.  I even got a little nervous about not being prepared enough to attend the tour (where was my list of questions?).  Looking around I kept thinking how there are all these little lives just hanging out in these women's bellies.  It was a little difficult for me to wrap my head around.

The tour was very informative and helpful, and I'm glad we did it.  As we were guided through the different sections of the maternity ward, Adam and I kept joking how we need to run drills so we knew exactly what to do when the time comes to deliver.  I could just see us in matching warm ups, jetting down the hall, him throwing bags and forms at the receptionist, me hunting down a wheel chair, as if we were on the last leg of The Amazing Race.

Emotionally, I've been feeling a lot better.  A weekend with the husband tends to assuage all the negativity and fear that I feel when I'm left alone to think too much.  I did have a mini panic attack last night, though, about raising a girl.  I'm reading Cinderella Ate My Daughter: Dispatches from the Front Lines of the New Girlie-Girl Culture by Peggy Orenstein.  It's an interesting read about how (or if) we are doing our daughters a disservice by perpetuating the "princess" mentality by buying into the consumerism that seeks to objectify and sexualize girls into thinking that looks are more important than character.  I got to the part about social networking and how it is yet another vehicle for children to promote themselves on a superficial level rather than encourage children to develop meaningful relationships and establish their own identity outside of tweets, status updates, and wall posts.  It's a lot to think about as society seems to become more and more desensitized and children are getting older younger.  It's scary to think what this world will be like when our daughter(s) approach that age.  I'm prepared to have a baby, but not a teenager (or tween) quite yet.  The book does make me reevaluate my approach to teaching my daughter about her femininity and identity as a girl.  I want to empower without stifling her with my own agenda.  I mean, who wants their daughter to struggle with identity issues and poor body image and all that goes with being female and an adolescence?  I don't think there is anything inherently wrong with pink and princesses and girlie things.  I just want my daughter to have an identity outside of the societal constraints placed on her simply because she is female.  But then again, I'd buy a pink power drill!  And here I am blogging and using Facebook.  What does that say about me?  I do recommend the book, though.  Not to be read as gospel or anything, but just something to think about.  I can go on and on about this subject, but I'll save that for another day.