Family of Four

Things have been a bit chaotic around here as we adjust to being a family of four.  I confess I've let some things slip, just so I can manage our day to day.  For example, Ella has been allowed to watch a lot more TV than she ever has.  Usually, TV time is relegated to weekends.  But now, she gets about 30-40 minutes of watching Olivia after her nap.  It just gives me a nice break, and she is so content eating her snack (another thing I let slide--eating in the living room) and watching her show.  I'm hoping when we get a better routine with Gavin, we can cut back on the screen time.  Especially with longer days approaching, I'm hoping she'll be able to spend her afternoons outside playing instead of sitting on the couch.  But it does make me smile to see her so grown up, sitting on the couch, eating a snack, all cuddled up with a blanket and singing along to Olivia.

Another thing I've been more lenient on has been letting Ella play with my iPhone.  She has learned to say "cheese"when she wants to play with it (I let her scroll through my photos and watch videos that I've recorded of her).  She also discovered how to use the camera and take pictures.  She is quite the budding photographer.

Her "selfie."

Love her perspective of her chubby toddler legs.

On of her favorite subjects: Mia.

This past weekend, we decided it was time to head out as a family of four.  I've been reluctant to take Gavin out much because of flu season, and I feel like EVERYONE is sick.  I just can't bear the thought of him being around all those germs.  But after 3 weeks at home, we were all going a little stir crazy.  So we ventured to outdoor spaces, and have enjoyed going to the Arboretum, Kidspace museum, and the park.  I also finally broke down and got a double stroller (the Baby Jogger City Select), and I was eager to take it for a test run (so far so good!).  While it took much longer to get out the door than expected, everything went pretty smoothly and Ella enjoyed being able to go out with both her parents and her baby brother, too.

At the Arboretum, she wanted to walk along the green line.  This picture reminds me how much she's grown!

Making handprints with Dad at Kidspace.

She is not a fan of getting her hands dirty (much to Grandma's dismay), so I was pretty impressed that she did this.

She loves playing in the water.  And she was excited to show us around the museum, which she goes to weekly with Grandma for a Baby and Me class.

Snack break at the park.  Ever the big sister, she wanted to sit by Gavin and rock his car seat.

and now, a sleeping montage

I'm truly thankful that newborn babies sleep so much.  I can stare at this face all day.

Someone is having a good dream.

Donald Trump, eat your heart out. 

Newborn Daze

The newborn period is always the most challenging.  And maybe it's because we had Ella and Gavin so close together, but I definitely feel more impatient for him to outgrow this phase.  The lack of sleep, the constant diaper changes, the spitting up and smelling like sour milk--it's getting old, fast.  I feel bad for complaining.  After all, Gavin is such a good baby.  He's easy-going and has a really mellow temperament.  He's fallen into a nice routine already, sleeping 4-5 hour stretches at night and eating very well.  And when we started him on a bottle this past weekend, he took to it like a pro (which is such a blessing).  I really can't complain, but I miss my full night's sleep.  I miss being able to wear clothes without fear of milk stains.  I miss not having to tote around so many diapers and changes of clothes and swaddles and blankets and breast pumps.  I miss having the bedroom to ourselves.  I miss being able to enjoy an evening with my husband without feeling guilty about not sleeping while the baby sleeps.  I miss being able to get out the door in a relatively efficient amount of time.

And then there's the added hormonal changes that happen after pregnancy, the postpartum baby blues that come with it, and the daunting task of trying to find "normalcy" once again.  While this transition to two children has been MUCH easier than the transition to one, I still get overwhelmed sometimes.  As time passes, I'm getting better and not having so many anxious moments of "how am I going to do this?"  I am slowly wrapping my brain around managing two young children on my own.  Adam has gone back to work, Grandma is no longer staying with us, and we're slowly finding our groove again.  I recently read a blog post that describes new motherhood so perfectly.  It helped to read it and know that the emotions I feel are so normal.  And even though this is my second time around, a part of me still has to mourn the lifestyle I had when it was just Ella.  Maybe it's because I barely got my body back before getting pregnant again (I was still nursing Ella when we found out), but shifting back into caring for a newborn baby has been challenging.  But at the same time, I know what awaits me as Gavin grows and I'm excited to take that journey again.  I just wish it involved more sleep right now.

There are things I appreciate about this phase, though.  These little gifts of grace of to new parents.  It helps tremendously that Gavin sleeps a lot, and demands very little really.  His needs are so basic, which allows me continue giving Ella the attention she needs.  I know it's just a matter of adjusting and getting into a routine again.  If anything, I'm learning (yet again) how little control I really have in it all and how I just need to pray more and have faith that I can be a good mother to these children, even when I feel completely overwhelmed or daunted.

Siblings

I've been meaning to post this, but never got around to it.  Here's a side-by-side picture of Ella and Gavin at approximately the same age (a few days old).

It amazes me how much they look alike.  I know, I know, they're siblings.  Of course they'll look alike.  I just can't get over it because we never got a really good ultrasound picture of Gavin, so we had no idea what he would look like.  Some people think he looks more like me, and Ella looked more like Adam.  But I think he just looks like a boy version of Ella.  I definitely look forward to seeing him grow and watching his features change.  It's so fun witnessing these little newborns blossom into little people.  Amazing.

Bright Eyes

and then there were two

Ella has been adjusting nicely to having a little brother.  She likes to say his name, bring him blankets, and tell me when he's sleeping or eating.  She is infatuated with the fact that he nurses, and she thinks he sounds like a cat.  She has been so gentle with him, and all around a very sweet big sister.

I can't believe she used to be that small!

Because we're stuck at home for a little while, Ella has been spending a lot of time going on outings with Grandma.  The weather here has been really beautiful, which is something I'm thankful for since Ella loves going to the park and being outdoors.

Climbing tree roots at the Kidspace museum.

Her new favorite activity is swinging.  She'll squeal "swing, swing, swing" and is learning to pump her legs back and forward.

Taking a stroll at the Descanso Gardens.

Being chic.

Visiting the on-site museum.

She really enjoyed this art installation where she could draw on the wall.

Painting outside on a nice spring-like day.

It's definitely a blessing to have Grandma here to help out.  I still can't wrap my head around taking care of two kids on my own (but that's also because I'm tired), but I know it will be okay once we get a rhythm down.

Happy Birth Day, Little Man!

Gavin's arrival was definitely different than Ella's.  While we knew we would eventually be induced, it was still a surprise when our doctor told us to go to labor and delivery.  I've been going to my OB to be monitored twice a week, and I've been seeing a perinatologist to track Gavin's growth.  This was similar to my experience with Ella during the last few weeks of my pregnancy.  But while Ella made it exactly 40 weeks, we knew we wouldn't go past 39 with Gavin.  That being said, on Friday the 25th, I went to my OB appointment as scheduled for a routine NST appointment.  That day also happened to be my sister-in-law's graduation from her dental hygiene program, and I was sad to miss it while Adam and Ella went.  My appointment went find, the NST results were good, and my OB predicted that I'd either go into labor naturally, or we'd consider inducing the following week.  I called Adam to fill him in, and even mentioned how nice it was to have "a plan" for labor this time around.  Since my perinatal appointment was later that day, I decided to go get a mani-pedi, followed by an impromptu lunch with my girlfriend, Kathy.  

Running late to my perinatologist (lunch with girlfriends can cause that), I was simply expecting the doctor to say that Gavin's abdomen was still slow growing and that we may have to induce a bit earlier.  Instead, he said Gavin's abdomen was still slow growing and (after conferring with my OB) that I should head to L&D to be induced.  Right now.  I was caught totally off guard.  I thought I'd get to go home.  Shower.  Finish packing.  Say goodbye to Ella.  Get a good night's sleep.  At this point it was three o'clock in the afternoon.  Adam had just gotten home from the graduation.  Ella was napping.  I hadn't even finished hanging things in Gavin's room!  I started to panic a little.  I was not expecting to go get induced.  Right now.  

So I hightailed it home, making phone calls to Adam and our parents along the way.  A quick shower, some last minute emails, and a hurried goodbye to Ella later, we left for the hospital.  (Poor Ashley, never got her graduation dinner.  Gavin stole her thunder!)

One last picture before heading out.  I'm 38 weeks here.

 I have to say, showing up to the hospital NOT in labor was much less stressful, especially when it came to filling out forms.  All I could remember from my experience with Ella was signing my name in between contractions and just wanting to be left alone so I could labor away.  This time, we took our time, joked with nurses, and checked in calmly.  I did get a bit nervous and anxious waiting for the nurses because I had way too much time to anticipate the pain that lay ahead of me.  I labored for 24 hours with Ella, and while I knew that it's "easier" and "quicker" the second time around, I was not looking forward to the pain.  They started me on pitocin at 6:15 pm, my OB broke my bag of waters at 6:45, and after a much too painful epidural (the anesthesiologist kept hitting a nerve) a couple hours later, we got to rest for about an hour.  Then the nurse said she was concerned about his heartbeat slowing down too much during each contraction, which in turn made me nervous and worried (would I need an emergency C-section?)  Turns out, baby boy was making his way down and my contractions started to get stronger and stronger.  So much so that the epidural wasn't helping too much and I knew it was time to push.  A couple practice pushes, a hurried call to the OB and a rushed setup resulted in our little man being born at 11:31 pm.  I couldn't believe how quickly it went!    

Our experience overall was so much better--probably because we knew what to expect (for the most part).  Even our hospital stay wasn't as exhausting.  We were just grateful that despite the complications I had during the pregnancy, he was born healthy and safely.

The car ride home.

Because Ella had a little cold, she wasn't able to visit us at the hospital.  I missed her so much; it was the longest I'd been away from her.  But she did great with Grandma and was busy practicing being a big sister.

So maternal and nurturing, she loves caring for her baby doll.

The transition from one child to two has been SO much easier than going from none to one.  Plus, Gavin is really laid back and easy-going, which I appreciate.  He latched right away, is a good eater, and just a really mellow baby.  He's even (accidentally) slept five hours one night (though we'll see how long that lasts).  I just can't believe he's here.

Hanging with Dad.

Basically what he does all day long.